The Daily Procrastinator

Just when I think I’m out, you pull me back in!

Hello, my name is FlashCap, and I have an action figure problem. For the past six or so years I’ve been collecting the Marvel Legends line of figures, first under the Toybiz line and then under Hasbro when Legends switched hands back in 2007. I’ve amassed around 50 or so Marvel superhero figures, most of which were at one time or another Avengers. Check out some pics here.

Yeah, that's entirely too much money on those shelves. I'm sorry.

The Hasbro figures’ quality wasn’t close to that of the line while under ToyBiz, and this difference, along with rising oil prices led to what I can only believe to be the demise of the 6″ Legends line. Hasbro also announced plans for a new 3″ figure line they would call “Marvel Universe.” I didn’t think much about them b/c my collection dwarfed this new series, so I thought my figure collecting had come to an end.

Then the damned figures started appearing on the shelves at the local Wal-Mart.

I kept thinking they looked pretty good. The detailing was a heck of a lot better than the Hasbro figures’, and the variety of figures that would be available would eventually surpass the Legends line. Plus there was a kick-ass, modern-costumed Iron Fist:

The First Temptation of FlashCap.

But still I resisted their siren song. I even found a Captain America and put it back after carrying it around Wal-Mart for awhile. I just couldn’t.

But about two weeks ago, I finally pulled the trigger. I was walking through Wal-Mart and noticed the Wolverine: Origins figures. Normally I wouldn’t give those a second thought but I noticed they had a “comic series” – they had a Deadpool.

This damned figure doomed me.

I caved like Cookie Monster at a Chips Ahoy packaging factory. Two days later, I went back and bought Captain America and Iron Fist from the Marvel Universe line. I also grabbed a Spider-Man. The following day I bought a Ms. Marvel, Silver Surfer, and Ronin from the local Target, which I found had a bigger selection. A week later, I returned and picked up the Hulk, Black Panther, and the Punisher.

I’m now planning on moving my 6″ Marvel Legends figures to a display case I have in my room, and start putting the 3″ figures on my shelves. I’ve already bought 50 clear plastic peg stands to do so.

Help me. Please?

This is NOT me.

I admit it – I’m over 30 and I collect comics. I’ve got six long boxes stored away in my closet packed with Marvel and DC comics dating back to when I started collecting in the early 80s. I quit my habit when I got to college, then restarted about five years ago when a student of mine gave me a copy of New Avengers #1. It was as if the gift had reawakened a long dormant addiction within me, and I was hooked again (Thanks, Chaz). I now make my weekly Wednesday run to the local comic book store to pick up my pull list, which varies from two to eight books a week (“books” – a euphemism of mine), and spend the evening after the kids are in bed reading about characters with names like Iron Man and Captain America saving the world.

Or beating the hell out of each other, as it were.

A grown man collecting comics is suspect, to say the least. Matt Groening’s “Comic Book Guy” often comes to mind, the comic-and sci-fi obsessed loser who wields his superhero knowledge like a weapon. And while I have seen fellow comic book geeks who fit the stereotype, it’s just not me. I’m married and have two daughters. I run half-marathons, I play sports. I have a rewarding career teaching college English. In other words, I’m an adult. But comic book collecting is often seen as a kid’s pursuit, to be outgrown before one hits puberty and moves on to more “adult” interests. And yet I still look forward to Wednesdays.

I guess I just don’t buy into the argument that superheroes are inherently childish. For as long as we’ve had stories to tell, we’ve had our superheroes. The Bible tells the story of Samson, the original strongman, the loss of his long locks his Kryptonite. The ancient Greeks had Heracles and Achilles, among many others. Beowulf, Robin Hood and King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table are our early western heroes. All are stories still told and taught today, valued for what they tell us not just about ourselves but also for suggesting what we can become.

And so it is with today’s superheroes. They are today’s myths, tomorrow’s legends. Look at the organization of the Justice League, with its god-like heroes: Wonder Woman (Hera), Superman (Zeus), Batman (Hephaestus), The Flash (Hermes), Green Lantern (Apollo) and Aquaman (Poseidon). The Marvel heroes, however, are more human, often flawed in some way (Tony Stark is an alcoholic, Peter Parker is driven by guilt), just as Beowulf and King Arthur were, yet we still admire them.

Seriously, how cool is this?

There are certainly real heroes I can identify in my life, both intimately familiar (my parents) and anonymous (the 9/11 firefighters, e.g.), and all are a testament to the human capacity for love and sacrifice. Superheroes, while not real, exhibit these same qualities each week, and, for me, remind me that there is a potential for greatness in us all, despite an inability to lift 20 tons, turn invisible or fly. We just have to try.

Idealistic? Sure. But that’s why I still read comics books.

Currently trying to save enough money to color it in.

Ah, the joys of being able to knock out two posts via one DVD release.

Marvel has released a two-fer for fans of the Hulk: Hulk Vs. This time around it is Hulk vs. Wolverine, a throwback to the first appearance of the short berserker mutant. But the conflict between the Hulk and Wolvie is more or less a tease here: this is all about the origin of Wolverine and the Weapon X project.

Like the Thor portion of the DVD, HvW is chock full of cameos: Sabretooth, Omega Red, and Lady Deathstrike, among others. But the best lines are (deservedly) saved for Deadpool:

The Merc with a Mouth

“Hey, good buddy. It’s Deadpool. I shot you!”

“What? Babies creep me out. Rock-a-bye BANG!”

“Omega Red’s a bed-wetter . . . he’s very ashamed.”

Brilliant (and many, many others). Now we just need the full-length Deadpool movie.*

Once again, the animation and vocal talent are top notch. One thing I did not expect was the level of violence. Good for Marvel: if you’re going to put a bunch of ruthless dudes who use blades, claws, and fully automatic weapons in the same room who really don’t like each other, blood is going to be spilled. Props to them for not pulling any punches.

*Stick around past the credits.

An actual scene from the movie.

Thor vs. Hulk is the latest animated offering from Marvel Comics (coupled with the simultaneous release Hulk vs. Wolverine). Unlike the previous “Ultimate Avengers” DVDs, Thor vs. Hulk focuses on the old-school Thor: red cape, winged helmet, and Mjolnir, his mystical uru hammer.

Full disclosure: I’m a Thor fan-boy. I wear a Mjolnir pendant on a necklace and my office is decorated with Marvel Legends Thor action figures. So while I’ve been looking forward to this movie since it was announced in mid-2008, my expectations were tempered by my typical pessimism that it could turn out to be a disappointment.

My pessimism was unfounded. Marvel has really come through in creating an epic Asgardian tale, wearing the influence of Walt Simonson proudly. Simonson is the writer of Thor’s most significant storyline in the 80′s, and many of the characters he defined make welcome cameos: Skurge, Malekith the Accursed, Surtur, and Balder, among others. The story opens in Asgard, in the midst of the Odin-sleep, when Asgard’s enemies launch their attacks while the kingdom is at its most vulnerable. Enter Loki, who is not content to merely repeat the same old cycle of events: he has kidnapped Bruce Banner and with the aid of Amora the Enchantress, plans to usurp the power of the Hulk to finally rule Asgard.

The production of the video is top-notch, from the artwork to the voice talent to the direction of the battles. One would expect the battles between the Hulk and the God of Thunder to be epic, but even I was impressed by the sheer power and brutality of the blows given and received as the two rage through the streets of Asgard. Thor Vs. Hulk is a return to form for Marvel’s animated series, particularly after the disappointment of Next Avengers, and should be an essential addition to any Marvel fan’s collection.