The Daily Procrastinator

*runs, gasping, to the keyboard*

Hello, procrastinators! I hope you’ll forgive my labored breathing and flushed cheeks. I’ve been off procrastinating. It takes a lot of work not to do my work! Now that we’re all here together, though, let’s look back over the last two weeks’ editions of The Daily Procrastinator and make sure that nothing escaped your notice.

TDP served up a healthy portion of technology posts, beginning with TallGirl’s reminiscences about the space shuttle we have all come to know and love. Somehow, replacing it with a capsule just doesn’t seem right. Speaking of technological advances with which TallGirl is not 100% comfortable, she also pointed out that two recently revealed “innovative” cars share an uncanny resemblance. BigRedPoet contributed to the technological frenzy by offering his opinion on a soon-to-be-released technology from XBox360 that will revolutionize video gaming. TallGirl addressed technology once more as she lamented the absence of old-fashioned customer service and human contact in the modern business world.

FlashCap directed a post toward collectors and hobbyists as he revealed his collection of Marvel Universe action figures. Simultaneously, he called down a pox upon Hasbro for luring him into collecting yet another series of tiny plastic superheroes. The pictures are pretty astonishing.

I've heard of unreceptive women, but this is ridiculous.

The subject of good ol’ everyday life got some attention on TDP in the past two weeks. TallGirl discussed her recent “opportunity” to serve on a jury and also provided some enlightening tips for avoiding your civic duty. My inner procrastinator is smiling. Next, TallGirl revealed that there may or may not be an undead creature in her rose garden. Is it possible for plants to return, rotted and shambling, from the grave? Finally, BigRedPoet saw a product this week that he simply could not resist writing about. It’s difficult to explain. Just go check it out…

In what’s beginning to look like a pattern, BigRedPoet posted a concert and album review this week. This time, his attention is turned toward a young singer and songwriter who hasn’t yet made the bigtime, but who is destined for great success. Long live old-time music!

Finally, BigRedPoet addressed the topic of physical anthropology. A new fossil, nicknamed “Ida,” has recently been discovered in Germany, and she promises to open many doors of insight into humanity’s earliest ancestors. In this post, you can check out pictures of the discovery, read BRP’s reactions, and find out about the recently published book about Ida.

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The Daily Procrastinator: Contributing to the Dramatic Reduction of Your Personal Productivity

Growing up in the northeast, my grandmother had two rose bushes: one red, one yellow. On average, they produced a total of five blooms between them over the course of the entire summer. Instead of convincing me that these were poor, pathetic little rose bushes, I thought that they were the most magical things ever. I also thought that it took an entire field of rose bushes to create enough yield for a decent bouquet.

This one starts out a deep salmon color, then fades to yellow with pink accents.

As an adult, I relocated to California. Out here, roses grow big, bushy and with vigor that rivals backyard weeds. It’s a stunning contrast. But I quickly realized that allowing roses to grow on your property was not the same thing as properly tending to roses. When I moved into a house with no fewer than two dozen different varieties of roses, I was thrilled. Look at the beautiful flowers! There are red, pink, yellow, white and a combination yellow/coral that just stuns me every time. I had visions of beautiful bouquets of roses adorning my kitchen table.

And then I found the aphids.

These little brutes are eating my roses alive.

To say that I’m traumatized by the aphids is an understatement. They cover the poor rose blooms, rendering them unable to be brought inside.

I have tried all of the conventional methods for dealing with them. I’ve used chemical bug killers/fertilizers. I’ve blasted the roses with jets of water only to have wet plants still covered in aphids. I’ve released hundreds of ladybugs that look oh-so-lovely right before they fly away. Yet the aphids remain, sucking the life out of my beautiful flowers.

This website explains it as clearly as any: “They puncture the soft tissues and suck out the juices from the plant. Severe aphid invasion will cause leaves to curl up and die.”

So I’m trying to look on the bright side: rather than lament the presence of aphids, I have something far more interesting: zombie roses, with the juices sucked out of them.