The Daily Procrastinator

The sixth tool.

I don’t give a rat’s ass about baseball.  All apologies to Tallgirl, but to me watching a baseball game is comparable to watching paint dry.  Although there is something to be said for going to a ballpark, drinking some beer, and eating really bad food.

Regardless, my non-fan status has allowed me to enjoy seeing baseball rocked by these steroid revelations, particularly after Mark McGwire’s theft of the Roger Maris’ single season home-run record, followed shortly by Barry Bonds’ usurping of same, not to mention Bonds’ despoilment of Hank Aaron’s career home-run record.  And then, Roger Clemens (who I always kind of suspected of being a scumbag) is uncovered as a cheat and will likely face perjury charges in the near future.

And then the coup de grace:  Alex Rodriguez, baseball’s golden boy, is forced to admit that he used steroids.  But let’s take a look at his admission.  According to A-Rod (or A-Roid, or A-Fraud, etc.), he only used steroids during the 2001 – 03 seasons when he was with the Texas Rangers.   As he explained it:

“When I arrived in Texas in 2001, I felt an enormous amount of pressure. I felt like I had all the weight of the world on top of me and I needed to perform, and perform at a high level every day.”

I’m calling bullsh*t on this entire defense.  If this type of explanation passes muster, then I should be permitted to use a Ritalin/cocaine combo so that I have the focus and energy to meet my billable hours requirements during my day job.   Further, it is mighty convenient that he limits his use of steroids to his time in Texas (although it seems that using steroids was a job requirement for the Rangers players).

But personal feelings aside, let’s see if his professed “admission” should put baseball fans’ concerns at rest by taking a look at his time on his consecutive teams (as set out in a sidebar item in the February 15, 2009 edition of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram):

Seattle:  No steroid use here.  He was just a natural back then, when in 1998 he became only the third player to go 40-40.  Oh, who were the first two?  Jose Canseco and Barry Bonds.

Texas: Yes, A-Rod used steroids.  But it was just to help him in a very pitcher-friendly home ballpark and so he could handle the high-stakes, pressure cooker that is Arlington, Texas.  <sarcasm mode off>

New York: No, no steroids now.  Those 48- and 54-home-run seasons were just Yankee magic.  By the way, in the 85-year history of Yankee Stadium only one other righty had a 40-homer season:  Joe DiMaggio (and only ONCE).

Alex Rodriguez’s “admission” is a sham.  But from what I can tell, baseball fans are just eating this up and willing to let it all go.   Never mind that all of these records being broken come at the expense of others who preceded these frauds.

I’m just glad I’m not a baseball fan.