Weekly Wrap-Up: May 4 – May 8
Welcome, procrastinators. Here’s hoping you came through the swine flu “crisis” unscathed. We here at The Daily Procrastinator are absolutely shocked at the events of the past couple weeks. Who would have thought that the media would blow something out of proportion? Who would have believed that Americans would swallow such an exaggeration hook, line, and sinker, and react with irrational panic? Who could have forseen that it was all really no big deal? It was truly a week of unexpected events. Lucky for you, it was also another week of fantastic content on TDP. Unless you’re quarantined with the imaginary flu, you should make SURE you don’t miss a thing.
Monday: For reasons that will soon be obvious, the 4th of May is an unofficial but widely recognized holiday–a holiday celebrated by movie fans and word-nerds alike.
Tuesday: According to wikipedia, Cinco de Mayo commemorates the Mexican army’s unlikely victory over French forces at the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862. Each year, Americans honor the brave Mexican soldiers by blissfully munching nachos and sipping margaritas. The holiday has passed, but TallGirl’s Cinco de Mayo party guide included recipes for margaritas and dip that will be favorites all summer long.
Cats amuse me. Zombies amuse me. This picture is extremely amusing.
Wednesday: TallGirl revealed that she truly deserves to be a zillionaire. After all, she thought up dance-based fitness programs before Zumba before was a nation-wide fitness craze!
Thursday: BigRedPoet gave a review of the Dave Matthews Band show on May 1 at Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion in Woodlands, TX. Check out the setlist, thoughts on the performance, and notes on recording the show.
Friday: Continuing the string of wildly unlikely happenings I mentioned in the intro to this weekly wrap-up, TallGirl noted that baseball players use steriods. Can you believe it? Baseball players use steriods! Neither she nor I is amused by this revelation.
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A Loud and Sarcastic “Woohoo”
It’s been a big week for Major League Baseball. First we heard that A-Rod has “allegedly” been using steroids since he was a teenager, and now Manny Ramirez gets a 50-game suspension for testing positive for human chorionic gonadotropin, or HCG, which can be used to boost testosterone levels (he swears he wasn’t cheating, but it’s only real legitimate use is in boys with delayed puberty; at 36 he’s well past his awkward teen years).
A beautiful day to get juiced at the ballpark.
If you listen to the sports buzz, you’d think that this was all a startling revelation. You’d think that the journalism that brought us the A-Rod story was risk-taking and cutting edge. You’d think that Major League Baseball was taking a hard line against doping.
You’ll forgive me if all that I can manage is sarcastic “woohoo.”
This is all coming two decades too late. Impossible, you say? My grandmother, a rabid baseball fan who knew just about everyone who passed through Veterans Stadium, was talking steroids with baseball scouts in the early 1990s. It’s now 2009. Are we supposed to be surprised by all of this?
I grew up with baseball. I love baseball for what it meant to my family, my childhood, my history. But the game that stands before me today is a shadow of its past, a sport that’s been ruined by winks and nods and silently accepted cheating (yes, MLB commissioner Bud Selig and Don Fehr, head of the MLBPA, I’m looking at both of you with my customary sneer of disgust and chronic desire to kick you both in the teeth).
I’m thrilled to death with Manny’s suspension, if for no other reason than my sincere hope that the salary withholdings significantly cut into the income of his agent, Scott Boras, known for negotiating mega-deals for his clients (like A-Rod’s ridiculous $252 million/10 year deal). Coincidence that he also represents A-Rod? I think not. Let’s hope that his drug-fueled gravy train is about to derail.
For some additional reading on the subject, here are some scathing words from the Boston Herald.