Best American Rock Band, Part II (#’s 3-5!)
Let’s face it, almost any “greatest band ever” list ends up with the Beatles. Or Led Zeppelin, depending on what year it is and whether BRP had a say in it. To avoid this, the DP is going to add another adjective to the list, AMERICAN, and count down the top seven American Rock Bands (take that, you limey bastards!).
Yesterday saw the start of our countdown with Lynyrd Skynyrd coming in at number 7 and Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers edging the boys from the South at number 6. Now, on to number 5!
#5: Pearl Jam
"Mookie Blaylock" probably wouldn't have made our list. Fortunately, they changed the name.
The Case for: All apologies to Nirvana (get it? HA!), but Pearl Jam is the best band to come out of the Seattle “grunge” scene in the early 1990s. But there’s just one minor problem with that statement of fact: Pearl Jam isn’t grunge. They are as straight-forward rock and roll as anything America has produced. They are America’s version of The Who (even in a sad way), an influence they wear proudly on their collective sleeve.
Listen to Ten again. It literally washes over the listener like the waves Eddie surfed while coming up with the lyrics. But Vs. is really their masterpiece, from the breakneck pace of “Go” through the omnipresent “Elderly Woman . . .” They’ve also released at least 72 different live albums, setting a world record in the process. Prolific bunch, these guys.
Why aren’t they higher on the list?: Pearl Jam kind of suffers from their early success. “Jeremy” was done to death, and the band kind of removed themselves from the mainstream by becoming more experimental (to some, at least), daresay self-indulgent, on their subsequent studio albums. Personally, I forgive them, but this list was compiled by committee, so what are you gonna do?
#4: Guns N Roses
The REAL Guns N Roses
The Case for: Appetite for Destruction. It is an album everyone knows and likely owns. It is an album that damn near everyone can sing at least four songs by heart. But most importantly, it is an album that has not grown tired. “Welcome to the Jungle”. “Mr. Brownstone”. “Paradise City”. “Sweet Child O’ Mine” (which, BTW, has probably one of the most perfectly song-suited solos ever). This is one of the most re-listenable albums on Earth and likely extended the life of LA’s music scene (for better or worse) by a good 2 to 3 years. Lies and the Use Your Illusion set round out the legend that is GnR, but Appetite set it in stone.
Why aren’t they higher on the list?: Two words for you: Axl friggin’ Rose. Spare me the arguments about why the breakup was all Slash’s fault. Axl is the reason that Chinese Democracy 1) took 13 years to complete and release; and 2) was too much “Estranged” and not enough “Nightrain”. Thirteen years for THAT? Yes, expectations are a bitch but damn, Axl, shouldn’t there have been more than one catchy song (“Better”)?
#3: Aerosmith
Not yet ready for their Permanent Vacation
The Case For: Are you kidding me? The real question is why aren’t these guys higher on the list (to be answered later). The boys from Boston have obviously given the world some of the most memorable and powerful rock and roll over the past 30 years, and to try and list some of their hits here would probably be insulting to you, our constant reader. Still, “Sweet Emotion“, “Mama Kin“, “Dream On“, “Walk This Way“, “Back in the Saddle“, and I probably haven’t named your favorite – their catalog goes on and on and on. Download “Toys in the Attic” and you’ll know.
Why aren’t they higher on the list?: Honestly, the case could be made that Aerosmith is the premiere rock band of the United States. But you could also argue that they’re now a watered-down version of themselves, content with writing bluesy rock ballads to be played in Michael Bay action movies and cranking out a mediocre album every few years. They haven’t really had a good album since “Pump”. But hasn’t Aerosmith paid its dues? Shouldn’t they be allowed to take it easy now that they’ve achieved rock god status? NOPE, and here’s why:
Aerosmith is still karma-deficient for being involved in this Bee Gees focused tripe. THE BEE GEES!
Tomorrow: THE TWO BEST AMERICAN ROCK BANDS…EVER!
