The Daily Procrastinator

Plenty of sites and magazines give previews of the new television shows hitting the airwaves each season. The DP isn’t one of them. No, the DP has no access to previews or screenings of these shows, and because of this we don’t feel an obligation to be nice when talking about the recycled, tired garbage the networks are going to be attempting to foist on us this fall. We have something better than previews, though: instinct. And we’re here to tell you which new shows you should pay attention to, and, more importantly, which shows not to get emotionally attached to, because they’re not long for this world (Trauma is already hemorrhaging).

A few caveats here: 1) I’m not looking at HBO shows – no real reason why, except those fuckers are responsible for True Blood and I’m getting sick of hearing/reading about that soap opera (that’s all it is, people – a soap with mythological characters, Rogue getting naked, and bad accents). 2) No reality shows are being mentioned. They thrive on appealing to the lowest common denominator, and I’ve found the LCD always manages to surprise me with their poor taste. And 3) I’m not mentioning actors in the series unless for some reason its pertinent to my prediction…or if there’s a good pic of an actress available.

So let’s start with CBS’s new shows:

Accidentally on Purpose – Mondays, 8:30/9:30

Stop me if you’ve heard this storyline before – a babe gets knocked up by someone who would normally not be on her radar, and then they decide to keep the kid and see where that takes them. Yeah, it’s stolen from Knocked Up, though it throws in another love interest for the girl. Whoop-de-doo. This is attempting to draw in the HIMYM and Big Bang Theory crowd, so it’s got a chance, but I’m betting that crowd has seen Knocked Up too and won’t feel the need to see a serialized small screen version.

The Good Wife – Tues. 9/10

The wife of a shady politician has to go back to work at a law firm when her husband goes to jail. Topical, and I really like Julianna Margulies, but the point about her working at a law firm leaves me cold. Too many damn shows out there with the court system, and I’m sure there will be a lot of emotional cases Margulies will get involved in: abused children, battered wives, etc., so it will become a courtroom drama. And dramas focused on leading women haven’t traditionally lasted on the Big Three (Providence, The Ghost Whisperer, …ok, that’s all I’ve got).

NCIS: LA – Tuesdays, 9/8

Can anyone actually watch Chris O’Donnell for a straight hour? His movie career says “NO.” LL Cool J is also part of the cast of this criminal investigation drama – yes, another one (which makes, what, 15 such shows, 8 of them with the letters “CSI” in them?) – and without Mark Harmon this time there goes the moms over 35 audience. But CBS is pretty good about marketing its crime shows, and with the names attached it’ll get at least two seasons. But I’ll be damned if you’ll be able to find anyone who admits to watching it.

Three Rivers – Sundays, 9/8

A medical drama revolving around transplant doctors. A tear-jerker to be sure, but it’s locked into a limited formula from the get-go. They’ll be telling stories from three perspectives (doctors, patient, donor), so there will be a lot of human interest, but CBS has not faired well with medical dramas since Chicago Hope which ended in 2000 ( L.A Doctors and City of Angels both might as well have been DOA). Still, CBS audiences tend to like limited formulas, and with the passing of ER, and the fact that older audiences probably find House too edgy, I’ll say the network finally will have an established medical drama to hang its hat on.

Next time: NBC’s new shows