Travel: It Keeps Getting Weirder
When it comes to travel, I’m an old pro. Granted, I don’t travel as much as I once did, and elite status currently eludes me. After all, the life of the blogger doesn’t afford the same fantastic opportunities as some of my former corporate gigs, the kind where I got to fly on luxurious weather-delayed jaunts from California to Buffalo — in February, no less — to stay at the world’s oldest Fairfield Inn. No, I’m not that kind of worldly jet setter anymore, but I still thought that I’d seen it all.
Recently, I flew back east to Philadelphia to meet with two clients. On the four flight segments to and from Philly, I encountered some of the more memorable travel scenes in my recent memory.
SJC-IAH: The peril of losing one’s elite status is that you’re relegated to boarding with the masses, the casual travelers who don’t know the routine. Such was the case with the family of four that boarded in front of me. They managed to somehow make it through security with a startling amount of carry-on baggage in an obvious attempt to elude the checked bag fees. This collection of miscellany not only included a cat carrier, but also a large package containing an eight-piece king-sized comforter set. This is beyond the level of the travelers who come with their bed pillow. These people somehow felt the need to tote along a comforter, bedskirt, four shams and two decorative pillows in their original plastic packaging, which was roughly the size of the state of Rhode Island. The package had to be fully dismantled and distributed into no fewer than three overhead compartments in order to fit.
IAH-PHL: While grabbing a bottle of water in the newsstand, I glanced at the purchases of the man next to me, and realized something that had previously been hiding in plain view: they sell Playboy in the airport. Oh sure, you say, he’s reading it for the articles. I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt on this one. But would you really open up a Playboy on a plane? The whole situation was just begging for a joke about why they no longer provide blankets on planes.
PHL-IAH: What are the odds of having three unrelated church choir directors on the same plane, seated within three rows of each other? Furthermore, what are the odds that all three would be reading the same book about directing choirs? Director #1 spotted #2 and #3 on his way to the restroom, which resulted in all three congregating in the aisle next to my left shoulder for more than an hour, discussing their favorite hymn arrangements and occasionally bursting into song.
And if that wasn’t entertaining enough, the in-flight movie was High School Musical 3. Nothing more needs to be said.
IAH-SJC: The couple behind me wanted our flight to be delayed so that they could straighten out their duty free purchase. For reasons that still remain unexplained, the duty free shop allowed them to buy liquor and “a very cute little koala bear” (she was far more upset about the koala than the liquor) in spite of the fact that they weren’t traveling internationally. They seriously wanted to be permitted to go back out to the shop to get their purchase price refunded while the remainder of us waited on board. I am eternally grateful to Continental’s crew for being very diplomatic with these people, but being very clear with them that the customer is not always right.
I can’t wait until my next flight to see what kind of oddities await me.
