The Daily Procrastinator

It's a beautiful day for a new era in baseball.

Fans, rejoice!  Donald Fehr, head of the MLBPA, is resigning.  As the head of the union, Fehr has done his best to drag the sport through the mud with his campaigning against tougher drug policies in the sport.  And we all know how well that worked out, right A-Rod and Manny?

Now, if we can just get Bud Selig to join him, maybe there will be some hope for saving the sport for future generations.

It’s been a big week for Major League Baseball.  First we heard that A-Rod has “allegedly” been using steroids since he was a teenager, and now Manny Ramirez gets a 50-game suspension for testing positive for human chorionic gonadotropin, or HCG, which can be used to boost testosterone levels (he swears he wasn’t cheating, but it’s only real legitimate use is in boys with delayed puberty; at 36 he’s well past his awkward teen years).

A beautiful day to get juiced at the ballpark.

If you listen to the sports buzz, you’d think that this was all a startling revelation.  You’d think that the journalism that brought us the A-Rod story was risk-taking and cutting edge.  You’d think that Major League Baseball was taking a hard line against doping.

You’ll forgive me if all that I can manage is sarcastic “woohoo.” 

This is all coming two decades too late.  Impossible, you say?  My grandmother, a rabid baseball fan who knew just about everyone who passed through Veterans Stadium, was talking steroids with baseball scouts in the early 1990s.  It’s now 2009.  Are we supposed to be surprised by all of this?

I grew up with baseball.  I love baseball for what it meant to my family, my childhood, my history.  But the game that stands before me today is a shadow of its past, a sport that’s been ruined by winks and nods and silently accepted cheating (yes, MLB commissioner Bud Selig and Don Fehr, head of the MLBPA, I’m looking at both of you with my customary sneer of disgust and chronic desire to kick you both in the teeth).

I’m thrilled to death with Manny’s suspension, if for no other reason than my sincere hope that the salary withholdings significantly cut into the income of his agent, Scott Boras, known for negotiating mega-deals for his clients (like A-Rod’s ridiculous $252 million/10 year deal).  Coincidence that he also represents A-Rod?  I think not.  Let’s hope that his drug-fueled gravy train is about to derail.

For some additional reading on the subject, here are some scathing words from the Boston Herald.  

Hello again, procrastinators! This wrap-up will bring you up to speed on what’s been happening here at The Daily Procrastinator for the last two weeks. Normally, as you’ve noticed by now, I’m sure, there’s a weekly wrap-up in your email every weekend. Last weekend, that didn’t happen. I procrastinated. Surely you knew that was a possibility. TDP has been as busy as ever in the past two weeks, and this is your chance to make sure that you’ve read every tasty bit. Let’s take it one week at a time, shall we?

March 16 – March 20

The week began with two posts by TallGirl, addressing first the dust-covered rollerblades she discovered while cleaning her garage, and then the combined narcissism and bad PR decisions of A-Fraud.

After many, many hours of celebrating Irish heritage, BigRedPoet (who’s German and French Canadian, by the way) published Part 1 of the beer-fueled St. Patrick’s Day adventure, chronicling the daylight hours and early evening. Part 2, which is perhaps slightly less coherent, details the happenings of the late evening and pursuant VERY early morning. Because she’s such a helpful friend, TallGirl offered a few hangover cures for anyone whose St. Patrick’s Day celebrations got out of hand.

The week ended with both lasciviousness and laughs as TallGirl wrote about her recent hot upskirt experience, and the newest Procrastinator, Marmite, bemoaned the unfortunate truth that Snuggies are taking over the world.

This break between weeks is brought to you by a grumpy, land-based koala bear. His name is Jeff.

March 23 – March 27

TallGirl started the week by wondering how FaceBook can simultaneously inspire curiosity, nostalgia, and low-level retrograde anger. As someone whose face has not been booked, I’m tempted to go sign up, just to observe this curious phenomenon.

On Tuesday, BigRedPoet offered a review of the Elton John and Billy Joel concert that he and FlashCap attended in Houston. As it turns out, two straight men can attend such a concert without the benefit of female companionship and still have a GREAT time.

Wednesday’s post was drawn from a discussion thread about important childhood memories. Several of the Procrastinators offered interesting tidbits from their young lives. Check it out, and get to know your favorite Procrastinator just a little bit better!

On Thursday, FlashCap expressed disbelief and outrage at a remarkably ignorant news article written by an ESPN reporter and posted on the company’s website. You’ve got to read it to believe it. As FlashCap seethed over the incompetence of paid professionals, TallGirl realized that Spring (the wily bugger) had sneaked up on her while she wasn’t watching. When it jumped out and yelled, “Surprise!“, the resulting joy turned into a TDP post.

BigRedPoet discovered something disturbing on Friday. While he was procrastinating by watching YouTube videos, he discovered that the Starburst Berries & Cream commercial that he found so offensive the first time had been reborn in a techno-remix version. Yikes.

Visit The Daily Procrastinator at any of the links above and sign up to receive daily email updates so you never miss an article!

The Daily Procrastinator: Contributing to the Dramatic Reduction of Your Personal Productivity

A-Rod and A-Rod: a love for the ages

The picture from Details magazine says everything you need to know about this guy and his self-absorption.  Also his completely crappy judgment.  Who would allow someone to photograph them in such a ridiculous pose?

The crowds in Boston are going to have a field day with this.  That’s assuming that they let him live it down in the Bronx.

We’ve had another busy week at The Daily Procrastinator, and now is the time to make sure none of the articles escaped your notice!

The week began appropriately with a heart-related post on Valentine’s Day, when TallGirl offered her thoughts and reminders about congenital heart defects in babies, particularly the condition known as tetralogy of fallout.

The Procrastinator also served up a piping-hot plate of tasty tidbits for sports fans this week. BigRedPoet took a satirical look at the criminals of the NFL, while Juggernaut voiced his thoughts on A-Roid’s recent admissions.

FlashCap posted the second installment of Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and the Zombies, in which the first Zombie rears his ugly, undead head. If you missed part one, check it out before reading this week’s installment!

TallGirl pondered many aspects of modern life this week, including her love of reading, an amazing website that offers aerial photographs from across the decades, and finding extra time in the day by watching less television.

Finally, BigRedPoet wrapped up the week with an announcement concerning National Margarita Day.

Visit The Daily Procrastinator at any of the links above and sign up to receive daily email updates so you never miss an article!

The Daily Procrastinator: Contributing to the Dramatic Reduction of Your Personal Productivity

The sixth tool.

I don’t give a rat’s ass about baseball.  All apologies to Tallgirl, but to me watching a baseball game is comparable to watching paint dry.  Although there is something to be said for going to a ballpark, drinking some beer, and eating really bad food.

Regardless, my non-fan status has allowed me to enjoy seeing baseball rocked by these steroid revelations, particularly after Mark McGwire’s theft of the Roger Maris’ single season home-run record, followed shortly by Barry Bonds’ usurping of same, not to mention Bonds’ despoilment of Hank Aaron’s career home-run record.  And then, Roger Clemens (who I always kind of suspected of being a scumbag) is uncovered as a cheat and will likely face perjury charges in the near future.

And then the coup de grace:  Alex Rodriguez, baseball’s golden boy, is forced to admit that he used steroids.  But let’s take a look at his admission.  According to A-Rod (or A-Roid, or A-Fraud, etc.), he only used steroids during the 2001 – 03 seasons when he was with the Texas Rangers.   As he explained it:

“When I arrived in Texas in 2001, I felt an enormous amount of pressure. I felt like I had all the weight of the world on top of me and I needed to perform, and perform at a high level every day.”

I’m calling bullsh*t on this entire defense.  If this type of explanation passes muster, then I should be permitted to use a Ritalin/cocaine combo so that I have the focus and energy to meet my billable hours requirements during my day job.   Further, it is mighty convenient that he limits his use of steroids to his time in Texas (although it seems that using steroids was a job requirement for the Rangers players).

But personal feelings aside, let’s see if his professed “admission” should put baseball fans’ concerns at rest by taking a look at his time on his consecutive teams (as set out in a sidebar item in the February 15, 2009 edition of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram):

Seattle:  No steroid use here.  He was just a natural back then, when in 1998 he became only the third player to go 40-40.  Oh, who were the first two?  Jose Canseco and Barry Bonds.

Texas: Yes, A-Rod used steroids.  But it was just to help him in a very pitcher-friendly home ballpark and so he could handle the high-stakes, pressure cooker that is Arlington, Texas.  <sarcasm mode off>

New York: No, no steroids now.  Those 48- and 54-home-run seasons were just Yankee magic.  By the way, in the 85-year history of Yankee Stadium only one other righty had a 40-homer season:  Joe DiMaggio (and only ONCE).

Alex Rodriguez’s “admission” is a sham.  But from what I can tell, baseball fans are just eating this up and willing to let it all go.   Never mind that all of these records being broken come at the expense of others who preceded these frauds.

I’m just glad I’m not a baseball fan.

The Daily Procrastinator bustled with new posts this week, and this is your chance to make sure you didn’t miss anything!

• For comic book readers and fans of the Marvel universe, Juggernaut posted a review and commentary on Thor #600, the most exciting issue of Thor in a long time.
• Sports-hungry readers will find TallGirl’s post on the A-Rod steroids scandal and BigRedPoet’s prediction that the Houston Texans will be next year’s Arizona Cardinals filling, indeed.
• The Daily Procrastinator has your dose of pop culture, too: TallGirl’s Felicia Day girl-crush confession and FlashCap’s first installment of Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and the Zombies are sure to give you your entertainment fix for the day.
• TallGirl addressed both hope and adversity in today’s economic climate, offering strategic advice for freelancers and thoughts on how to discuss layoffs with those affected by them.
• Finally, the Procrastinators have offered their opinions. BigRedPoet offered and honest but opinionated look at the silliness of modern nurseries, and TallGirl voiced her thoughts on buying coffee in unfamiliar surroundings.

Visit The Daily Procrastinator at any of the links above and sign up to receive daily email updates so you never miss an article!

The Daily Procrastinator: Contributing to the Dramatic Reduction of Your Personal Productivity

I grew up with baseball. It’s been a part of my life and my family since my first visit to Veterans Stadium in the 70s. Like any lifelong relationship, baseball and I have had our ups and downs. We were no longer on speaking terms after the 1994 strike, and only gradually, over time, did I return to a position of sentimental appreciation, even though I no longer follow the season and stats closely.

The recent news from Sports Illustrated that Alex Rodriguez tested positive for the use of performance-enhancing drugs in the 2003 season of “confidential” testing is not surprising. Major League Baseball, led by Bud Selig, and the players’ union, led by Donald Fehr, have worked together to craft the weakest drug policy in all of professional sports. The two groups appear to have a longstanding agreement that the league would look the other way as long as the big hitters kept delivering longballs to keep the fans in the stands. But much to their surprise, the plan backfired.

Barry Bonds pursuit of Hank Aaron’s home run record was met with shrugs instead of fanfare. Congressional inquiries, tell-all books and trainer accusations left the public sentiment ranging from something between lukewarm indifference at best, and outrage at worst. An entire generation of the sport has been tainted. In the post-1994 period, it seems that more players were juiced than clean. While we long suspected as much, seeing the list of confirmed names is disappointing.

So what now for A-Rod? He’s locked in to a long-term contract with the Yankees, so his future isn’t in jeopardy. What’s at risk is his reputation. His response to the revelations will forever influence public opinion and the legacy that he leaves behind when his time on the field has passed. Will he address the charges head-on like Andy Pettite, confessing, apologizing and moving on, or will he go down in history defiant, forever tarnished by the stigma of the lie, like Roger Clemens or Barry Bonds?

I have no doubt that A-Rod has been spending the past several days entrenched with agents, lawyers and players’ union reps, trying to craft statements that address the charges. After all the lies, I have a suggestion for him: give honesty a shot. Nothing will ever change what has been done, but history may be more likely to judge him kindly if he stands up and takes responsibility like a man rather than evading the truth like a weasel.

Maybe if he talks to the fans openly, honestly and apologetically, he’ll manage to maintain a legacy that reaches beyond his teammate-inspired nickname of A-Fraud.