The Daily Procrastinator

One of the great mysteries of life has been solved. Namely, we now have a way to protect our bananas. According to the product’s website, The Banana Saver is “designed to protect individual bananas on the go from getting bruised until time of consumption.” This is going to revolutionize America’s lunchtime habits.

What a great idea! It's such a sleek, slim, non-suggestive shape!

Imagine the joy this simple device could bring. Imagine smiling women everywhere withdrawing their Banana Savers from their handbags when lunch break finally rolls around and leaving their offices to enjoy a little treat. Imagine them returning to their desks, satisfied and ready to take on the afternoon’s work.

Here's what it looks like when it's upright.

You can buy this amazing device at any number of internet retailers. Rush out and get yours today! No batteries required.

Just when I think I’m out, you pull me back in!

Hello, my name is FlashCap, and I have an action figure problem. For the past six or so years I’ve been collecting the Marvel Legends line of figures, first under the Toybiz line and then under Hasbro when Legends switched hands back in 2007. I’ve amassed around 50 or so Marvel superhero figures, most of which were at one time or another Avengers. Check out some pics here.

Yeah, that's entirely too much money on those shelves. I'm sorry.

The Hasbro figures’ quality wasn’t close to that of the line while under ToyBiz, and this difference, along with rising oil prices led to what I can only believe to be the demise of the 6″ Legends line. Hasbro also announced plans for a new 3″ figure line they would call “Marvel Universe.” I didn’t think much about them b/c my collection dwarfed this new series, so I thought my figure collecting had come to an end.

Then the damned figures started appearing on the shelves at the local Wal-Mart.

I kept thinking they looked pretty good. The detailing was a heck of a lot better than the Hasbro figures’, and the variety of figures that would be available would eventually surpass the Legends line. Plus there was a kick-ass, modern-costumed Iron Fist:

The First Temptation of FlashCap.

But still I resisted their siren song. I even found a Captain America and put it back after carrying it around Wal-Mart for awhile. I just couldn’t.

But about two weeks ago, I finally pulled the trigger. I was walking through Wal-Mart and noticed the Wolverine: Origins figures. Normally I wouldn’t give those a second thought but I noticed they had a “comic series” – they had a Deadpool.

This damned figure doomed me.

I caved like Cookie Monster at a Chips Ahoy packaging factory. Two days later, I went back and bought Captain America and Iron Fist from the Marvel Universe line. I also grabbed a Spider-Man. The following day I bought a Ms. Marvel, Silver Surfer, and Ronin from the local Target, which I found had a bigger selection. A week later, I returned and picked up the Hulk, Black Panther, and the Punisher.

I’m now planning on moving my 6″ Marvel Legends figures to a display case I have in my room, and start putting the 3″ figures on my shelves. I’ve already bought 50 clear plastic peg stands to do so.

Help me. Please?