The Daily Procrastinator

With everyone up in arms about the swine flu, I thought it was a good time to put things in perspective and remind people to use common sense.

Swine flu can kill you!

I really hate to be all anti-hysteric and burst your bubble, but all flu – true influenza and not the inaccurately named “stomach flu” – has the potential to kill you.  In the U.S. alone, more than 200,000 people are hospitalized from influenza each year, and more than 40,000 die.  That’s just in the United States.  Worldwide, the population is culled by up to half a million annually, just from flu.  The same flu that you don’t really give any thought to each year.

This is why there’s a flu vaccine.  This wasn’t developed just because epidemiologists want to prevent you from feeling like crap.  It’s because the flu can kill you.  Not just swine flu, but regular old flu.

But I heard it on the news!

Yes, this has lots of publicity, just like SARS and bird flu before it.  That does not, in and of itself, make it more dangerous.  

Don’t leave the house!

Have you ever worked in an office where the flu took out coworkers one by one?  This one operates in the same way.  Wash your hands, use antibacterial hand gels and encourage the sick people to stay home, the same way you would if any other cold or flu was traveling through the office.

It’s the same as the 1918 flu!

Yes, it is an H1N1 strain, just like the 1918 flu.  But H1N1 strains are not uncommon, and that doesn’t mean that some hideously deadly form of flu has resurfaced after 90 years.  In fact, an H1N1 variant is present in this year’s flu shot.

Rush to the doctor at the first signs of illness!

If you’re sick today, odds are good that it’s something other than swine flu that’s sickening you.  Avoid the doctor’s office and all of the nasty germies that are floating around there.  You’re more likely to catch something from the doctor’s office than you are from maintaining reasonable health practices out in the real world.

For more information

Some wonderfully informed bloggers and resources are out there.  Check out the Global Health Report from Christine Gorman, Aetiology from Tara C. Smith and an excellent article on swine flu genomics from Wired.

As a writer, a reader, and a functionally intelligent person, very few things grate on my nerves more than blatant misuses of the English language. After reading that first sentence, some people will roll their eyes and think, “Here we go again. Another English snob is about to get on his soapbox. It doesn’t matter if I speak proper English, as long as people understand me.” Wrong! Unless you’re a wallflower or a stalker, your spoken English is one of the first things a new acquaintance is likely to notice about you. Depending upon who your new acquaintance is, speaking improper English could cost you a new friendship, a date, or even a job. It could also cause you to be mocked mercilessly as soon as you’re out of earshot.

ENGLISH, MUTHAF@%#ER! DO YOU SPEAK IT?

It doesn’t take much effort to speak proper English, and the effort will pay remarkable dividends. In a world which is deeply concerned (even obsessed, I might say) with image, I’m shocked at how many people ignore the effect their spoken English has on their images.

I’m not going to point out such linguistic faux pas as “irregardless” and “a whole nother.” Doubtless, if you care about your spoken English at all, you already avoid these mistakes. Allow me to point out, though, a few other quick-fix ideas for polishing your spoken English so you can project an intelligent image.

Collective Nouns: I recently read an article about a shark attack, which is a pretty awesome topic. The following sentence, though, is not awesome.

The group were about to leave the deep waters south of the Mississippi River’s mouth, when Mr. McInnis found himself alone in the company of a tiger shark.

The problem here is that the writer’s subject, “group,” is a collective noun, which is a linguistic stumbling block for many people. Collective nouns are nouns for collections of things (obviously). Examples include words like: family, flock, team. Because these collections contain many members (a flock is made up of many birds, for example), people tend to make the mistake of using the verb conjugation that should be associated with plural nouns. This is why the above writer incorrectly chose “were.” The mistake is simple. No matter how many people are in the group, there’s still just one group. Thus, the noun “group” calls for verbs that would accompany a singular subject. After revision, the sentence should read as follows.

The group was about to leave the deep waters south of the Mississippi River’s mouth, when Mr McInnis found himself alone in the company of a tiger shark.

Before we leave this sentence, I must also point out that one cannot possibly be “alone in the company of a tiger shark.” The word “alone” implies that one is…well…alone.

Pronoun/Antecedent Agreement: Here’s another mistake I hear constantly. In general conversation, sentences like this one are not uncommon:

Whenever a co-worker gives you a gift, you should send them a thank-you note.

This speaker’s pronoun, “them,” does not agree with his antecedent, “co-worker.” The pronoun is plural, while the antecedent is clearly singular. There are two ways to fix this little blunder. One possibility is to insert singular pronouns which match the singular antecedent.

Whenever a co-worker gives you a gift, you should send him or her a thank-you note.

The other option is to change the antecedent to a plural so that it agrees with the plural pronoun.

Whenever co-workers give you gifts, you should send them thank-you notes.

Improper Uses of “You”: This is probably the most commonly occurring error on the list. Apparently, it has become impolite, inappropriate, or uncool to talk about oneself at all. For example, during a recent conversation about memorable vacations, a friend made the following statement.

When we were near the top of Mt. Fuji, the view was amazing. You could see for miles.

Instantly, I thought, “I could? I could? I most certainly could not! I wasn’t even there!” Somehow, though, my friend found it appropriate to use a second-person pronoun. Why? A friend of mine who teaches keeps a running list of her favorite misuses of “you.” Here are some of the highlights:

• When you do cocaine, your pulse races and your pupils dilate.
• There is no shock like the shock you feel when your girlfriend dumps you.
• When you kill someone, you do not deserve to live in prison.

To the best of my knowledge, my friend does not use hard narcotics, is not a lesbian, and has never killed anyone, no matter how badly she wants to. Improper uses of “you,” though, have implied that she does all of these things.

Be careful, procrastinators. Your spoken English makes a lasting impression on those around you, and you don’t want to be remembered as an ignoramus. You also don’t want Samuel L. Jackson to be angry with you.

Yes, another heart-related post from the TallGirl, but again for a cause that’s near and dear to me.  Today is Congenital Heart Defect Awareness Day.

Nearly three years ago, a friend gave birth to a little girl with Tetralogy of Fallot (TOF).  TOF is comprised by four findings, including: a large hole between the two pumping chambers of the heart (ventricular septal defect, or VSD); a tightening or obstruction of the area leading out of the heart to the lungs (pulmonary stenosis); an overriding aorta; and thickening of the right ventricle. 

At 3.5 months old, this tiny baby had surgery to repair the four defects.  While she’s doing fantastically well now — a strong, independent, stubborn little girl who seems perfectly normal, aside from a large scar down the center of her chest — she will be monitored by a cardiologist for the rest of her life, and there may come a time in her future where other steps must be taken.  This could range from activity limitation, to medication, to further surgery.  

Before she was born, I knew nothing of congenital heart defects.  Now that I know more, I’m startled by the statistics:

• Congenital heart defects are the #1 birth defect.  Nearly one of every 100 babies is born with CHD.
• Congenital heart defects are the #1 cause of birth defect related deaths.
• Congenital heart defects are the leading cause of all infant deaths in the United States.
• Each year approximately 40,000 babies are born in the United States with a congenital heart defect. Thousands of them will not reach their first birthday and thousands more die before they reach adulthood.
• Each year over 1,000,000 babies are born worldwide with a congenital heart defect. 100,000 of them will not live to see their first birthday and thousands more die before they reach adulthood.
• Almost half of all children and adults with complex congenital heart disease have neurological and developmental disabilities.
• There are an estimated 2,000,000 CHD survivors in the United States.
• For the first time, more than 50% of the CHD survivors are adults.
• 10% of all CHD cases evaluated in an Adult CHD clinic are first diagnosed in adulthood.
• More than 50% of all children born with congenital heart defect will require at least one invasive surgery in their lifetime.
• There are more than 40 different types of congenital heart defects. Little is known about the cause of most of them. There is no known prevention or cure for any of them.
• It is a proven fact that the earlier a CHD is detected and treated, it is more likely the affected child will survive and have less long term health complications.
• Despite all of the above, CHD research is grossly under-funded relative to the prevalence of the disease.  (Only one penny of every dollar donated to the American Heart Association goes towards congenital heart defect research and of every dollar the government spends on medical funding, only a fraction of a penny is directed toward congenital heart defect research.)

SOURCES: Children’s Heart Foundation and March of Dimes

So on this Valentine’s Day, as you’re surrounded by heart-shaped decorations, take a moment to reflect on the the tiniest hearts.  If you’re feeling generous, the March of Dimes would appreciate your support as they continue to be a wonderful resource for CHD families.

(Note: Today is National Wear Red Day for women’s heart disease awareness.)

This isn’t a post about Valentine’s Day or romances gone bad. This is the story of women, heart disease, and the importance of taking care of yourself and being an advocate for your own healthcare. This post was going to be poignant and personal, but sometimes personal is too hard to write.

Here are the basics that you need to know.

The Statistics

· Eight million American women live with heart disease

· Six times as many women will die from heart attacks as will die from breast cancer

· The rate of sudden cardiac death in women in their 30s and 40s increased by 30% in the last decade

· Because the symptoms aren’t as obvious for women as men, heart disease is more likely to kill women.

Don’t ignore symptoms.

For women, heart disease doesn’t present the same clear-cut symptoms as it does with men. There’s no crushing chest pain, no tingling in the left arm. Women are most likely to experience:

· Unusual fatigue

· Sleep disturbance

· Shortness of breath

· Weakness

· Indigestion

· Anxiety

· Dizziness

The Risk Factors

· Diabetes

· Overweight

· Smoker

· High blood pressure

· High cholesterol

Why I’m writing this

Five years ago, my mother died after a heart attack. She was 55 years old. She went to the hospital after experiencing shortness of breath for weeks, which she thought had triggered an anxiety attack. In reality, she had extensive blockages in the three main coronary arteries, and had neglected her symptoms for so long that her heart was permanently damaged.

Know your risk factors. Know the symptoms. Visit your doctor for routine check-ups. Ask for second and third opinions, and listen to them. If my mother had followed these basic steps, I wouldn’t be writing this today.