The Daily Procrastinator

For most of my life, I hated hot sauce.  It’s not that I don’t like the heat — I’ll eat nearly any kind of chicken that’s drenched in wing sauce, and that’s little more than hot sauce and butter — so there was really no plausible explanation for my aversion to the stuff.  And then, in the waning days of my 20s, a coworker shared a secret: I didn’t hate hot sauce.  What I hated was Tabasco.

Drop your regular hot sauce and give this a try.

With all due respect to the McIlhenny family, there isn’t a drop of flavor in the classic Tabasco hot sauce.  Heat, yes; I learned the hard way from cleaning up a shattered bottle that the stuff burns like hell if it gets into a cut or hangnail.  But flavor?  No.

I tried several other brands of sauce, but the classic pepper sauce that I settled on as my personal favorite was Cholula.  Try it on an omelette someday.  Trust me, it’s a whole new flavor experience.

But then, one day at Chipotle, I noticed that Tabasco had two other flavors: milder jalapeno and, appropriately, chipotle.  I tried both and while the jalapeno isn’t bad, I find the green color to be a total turnoff.  But the deep red, smoky flavor of the chipotle won me over.  I love this stuff.  If I didn’t already have too much crap in my bag, I’d carry a bottle around with me to salvage mediocre burritos and tacos (and possibly breakfasts).

Do yourself a favor: if you enjoy flavor more than just heat, give this stuff a try.  Better yet, invite me along for a burrito.

Munich is awesome. Or, perhaps, Munich is killing me by slowly destroying my liver. I haven’t decided which yet.

For the sake of brevity, my stay in Munich will be broken into two parts, each encompassing three days of my trip.

I should probably explain that beer is so prevalent here that even in convenience stores a simple bottle of lukewarm water can cost upwards of €1, Coke costs about the same, and a cold beer can be had for €0,69. Is it any wonder why I’m drinking beer by the half-liter? Also, please understand that all of these beers put even my favorite American microbrews to shame, and even if I tell you that they’re not the best of the best, they’re all pretty darned good.

My long-held ideal of beer perfection.

I arrived in Munich on Wednesday night, and immediately returned to a cafe where I’d had dinner about five years earlier, not far from Marienplatz. The beer of choice: half a liter of Franziskaner Hefe-Weisse. Now, I consider a fresh Franziskaner to be pretty much the top of the line in the Munich hefeweizen department. For the uninitiated, hefeweizens tend to be light in color, sweet with no bitterness, and with distinct undertones of banana, clove, vanilla and sometimes even a vaguely bubblegum flavor. This one was just as good as I remembered.

On Thursday, I opted to branch out. At lunch at Viktualienmarkt, the Munich farmer’s market, I had bratwurst and Hochzeits Weisse. These people have been brewing beer since Columbus was wandering around the Caribbean looking for India. Good beer, crisp and clean, but without the fruitiness and depth that I get from the Franziskaner. I also had the most interesting sauerkraut at this little cafe, made with caraway seeds, juniper berries and bay leaves, but that’s another story for another time, when and if I ever find a recipe for it.

Thursday night’s dinner was Krombacher Weisen. This was a good beer, excellent flavor and that hint of clove that I’ve come to expect. But it also had a bit of a bite to it, and not the characteristic smoothness that I tend to expect from a hefeweizen.

Friday brought with it a side trip to Salzburg, Austria. I had lunch while sitting at an outdoor cafe that’s built into Hohensalzburg Castle, high above the city and overlooking the stark Austrian mountains. It was there that I had the Stiegl Weizen Gold Dunkel. Stiegl has been brewing beer since 1492, and they know their stuff. Similar to a hefeweizen, the dunkelweizen gets its color from roasted or caramelized malts, giving it a deeper, roasted flavor.

Friday dinner was a two-part event: I began with the Hacker-Pschorr Hefe-Weisse, which may actually rival my beloved Franziskaner for top spot on my Bavarian beer list. These folks have been brewing beer since the early 1400s, and the effort is nothing short of spectacular. If I could get away with it, I’d dump the contents of my suitcase and fill it with nothing but this. Smooth, drinkable, refreshing and flavorful, it’s everything you could want in a beer.

Part two was a mistake. At a colleague’s recommendation, I tried a Monschof Kellerbier. It’s really well-reviewed, which just goes to show why there are a billion different kinds of beer out there. Personally, I hated it and didn’t even finish it. Too malty and bitter for my liking, or perhaps it was just the fact that it was coming on the heels of one of my favorite beers, and couldn’t live up to it.

Stay tuned for part 4, the continuation and conclusion of my Munich adventure.

If you’re joining us late, please read my reviews for the first part of my trip here.

On to Berlin and the seemingly blinding array of choices that confronted me at my local biergarten. It appears that as the main city in Germany, Berlin has adopted every regional beer and put them on the largest beer menus I’ve ever been faced with. Every meal was a daunting challenge.

The beer was a lot like the label: classic, but uninspired.

At dinner in Potsdamer Platz, I opted for a Schofferhofer hefeweizen. I’m a big fan of hefeweisen, but this one didn’t really inspire like some others that I’ve tried. The aroma of clove and banana was there, but there was an underlying almost bread-like heaviness to the wheat.

As a side note, I feel that it’s my public duty to share instructions on the proper hefeweisen pour. What makes a hefe a hefe is the yeast in the bottle, which of course must be transferred to the glass. To achieve a proper pour, tip the glass and gently pour about 2/3 of the bottle in, minimizing the head. Stop. Swizzle the bottle around to capture all of the yeast. Pour about half of the remaining beer into the glass. Repeat the swizzle and pour. There you will have the perfect hefeweisen. You’re welcome.

On my second night in Berlin, I was encouraged to have dinner at a tiny burrito shop near Alexanderplatz, one that was surprisingly good, given the distance from Mexico. Yet the beer selections were abysmal. I was in Germany. Did they seriously expect me to drink Dos Equis or Corona? The answer, sadly, was yes. And then I discovered a lone Tannenzaepfle in the case. German beer for the win!

Stay tuned as I move on to Munich where my favorite beer awaits: Franziskaner Weissbier.

Readers, you will laugh at this: I just got my first video game system. Ever. How I find myself hanging with the crowd on this blog is a mystery to me. Nevertheless, I am the proud new owner of a Wii, and perhaps even more exciting, a Wii Fit.

Where are the sweaty users, collapsed in a heap on the floor?

The Wii Fit package features four happy people doing exercises. They’re dressed in white, smiling and generally having a good time. And I’ll admit, the first time I tried the Wii Fit at a relative’s house, I felt the same way. I had loads of fun as I stood there in my street clothes and bare feet, going through the motions without breaking a sweat.

And then I got one for my birthday.

Now, let’s set the stage for this. I work out between four and six days each week, depending on my schedule. I used to own a Pilates and yoga studio. My blood pressure is low, my cholesterol rocks, my BMI is awesome. I’ve done two half marathons in the last two years. I am the sort of person who takes their exercising seriously. Today, I tried the system out at home for the first time, wearing workout clothes and really doing the exercises.

The Wii Fit kicked my ass.

There’s no other way to explain it. I went through the poses one by one, Yoga section first. Breathing? Check. Half Moon? Check. Warrior? Bring it on. But then I got to the Strength exercises. Holy Christmas! The Push-Up and Plank? Brutal! Jackknife, done in pace with the whistle? Stunningly hard.

It wasn’t long before I was huffing and puffing and breaking a sweat. And don’t let the “fun stuff” fool you. The Aerobics and Balance Games may look easy, but it doesn’t take long before you’re pretty much wiped out. As I turned off the console and collapsed on the couch, I couldn’t believe how much of a workout I’d gotten from a video game. And I can’t wait until tomorrow to try again and hopefully beat my scores from today.

Dear Procrastinators,

The big E3 (Electronic Entertainment Expo) is going on this week. Microsoft, Sony & Nintendo all announced their new gaming technologies:

Sony: Wii-like controller

Nintendo: A new, more accurate, Wii controller

Microsoft: NO CONTROLLER NEEDED

Look ma, no hands!

It is obvious that Microsoft is the clear winner here.  Now you won’t even need to find (much less pick up) your controller to start playing.  You will just walk in front of your TV,  be recognized by the system  and start playing, Minority Report style.  You may even get some exercise from moving around as you make the on-screen character follow your moves.

But that will require work and effort, and therefore runs counter to everything this site believes in.

Fortunately, Procrastinators, I have a solution.   And it will be a reality in just a few years.

Researchers at Emotiv have figured out how to control objects on screen using brainwaves.  Imagine just thinking what your character should do and having it respond, all from the comfort of your couch with nary a need to lift a finger.   Shoot the bad guy?  Think it.  Pass the ball to T.O. in Madden? Think it. Exercise on your wii board? Think it.

This, my friends, is the future of gaming.

According to a Wall Street Journal article, “Microsoft Corp. is developing a new videocamera for the Xbox 360 console that will allow players to control games with the movement of their bodies.” It looks like the Nintendo company’s uber-popular gaming system, Wii, is about to have a little competition. According to the article, a camera is being developed that can sense motion in three dimensions, and this camera is made to be attached to the XBox 360. It will “watch” video game players’ movements and translate them into control of the game.

As an XBox 360 owner, I’m totally psyched about this. The camera, which is supposed to become available in 2010, could revolutionize game play. Imagine using not only your hands but your whole body to control your video game system. Also, unlike the currently available Wii controllers, this camera will free the player from having to hold any kind of controller. It’s completely hands-free.

As a thirty-something, this advancement in video game technology literally stuns me. My first video game system featured games and controllers like these:

I seriously LOVED this game.

The progression from Combat on the Atari 2600 to Assassin’s Creed on XBox 360 is almost unbelievable.

It's so beauuuuutiful.

I thought my copy of Assassin’s Creed was a bad-ass as video games could get. Wrong! Imagine playing this game with full-body control. My mind is boggled by the mere possibility.

Just when I think I’m out, you pull me back in!

Hello, my name is FlashCap, and I have an action figure problem. For the past six or so years I’ve been collecting the Marvel Legends line of figures, first under the Toybiz line and then under Hasbro when Legends switched hands back in 2007. I’ve amassed around 50 or so Marvel superhero figures, most of which were at one time or another Avengers. Check out some pics here.

Yeah, that's entirely too much money on those shelves. I'm sorry.

The Hasbro figures’ quality wasn’t close to that of the line while under ToyBiz, and this difference, along with rising oil prices led to what I can only believe to be the demise of the 6″ Legends line. Hasbro also announced plans for a new 3″ figure line they would call “Marvel Universe.” I didn’t think much about them b/c my collection dwarfed this new series, so I thought my figure collecting had come to an end.

Then the damned figures started appearing on the shelves at the local Wal-Mart.

I kept thinking they looked pretty good. The detailing was a heck of a lot better than the Hasbro figures’, and the variety of figures that would be available would eventually surpass the Legends line. Plus there was a kick-ass, modern-costumed Iron Fist:

The First Temptation of FlashCap.

But still I resisted their siren song. I even found a Captain America and put it back after carrying it around Wal-Mart for awhile. I just couldn’t.

But about two weeks ago, I finally pulled the trigger. I was walking through Wal-Mart and noticed the Wolverine: Origins figures. Normally I wouldn’t give those a second thought but I noticed they had a “comic series” – they had a Deadpool.

This damned figure doomed me.

I caved like Cookie Monster at a Chips Ahoy packaging factory. Two days later, I went back and bought Captain America and Iron Fist from the Marvel Universe line. I also grabbed a Spider-Man. The following day I bought a Ms. Marvel, Silver Surfer, and Ronin from the local Target, which I found had a bigger selection. A week later, I returned and picked up the Hulk, Black Panther, and the Punisher.

I’m now planning on moving my 6″ Marvel Legends figures to a display case I have in my room, and start putting the 3″ figures on my shelves. I’ve already bought 50 clear plastic peg stands to do so.

Help me. Please?

In 15 years of browsing the internet, I’ve seen every kind of bizarre, amazing, and/or appetizing web content. In fact, some days, I think there’s nothing left out there that could really make me stop and shake my head. On those days, I am wrong.

As proof of the internet’s inexhaustible supply of cool new discoveries, check out the following product, which was recently pointed out to me by a friend.

According to the product's website, "a few years after WWII ended, a young man working in a small restaurant in Sweden developed a new way to process bacon. By precooking it and blending it in a special way, he was able to make a fully cooked 100% bacon paste that could be squeezed from a tube."

When I first saw this product, I thought I was horrified and nauseated. On second thought, though, I’m pretty sure I’m thrilled and hungry. Frankly, Squeez Bacon sounds like a great idea. Nearly everything is better with bacon. For example, imagine a hamburger. Now, imagine the hamburger with bacon on it. Better, right? Now repeat the process with a slice of pizza. Now try it with a baked potato. See the pattern?

Bacon = better.

The website says, “If it’s edible, it’s better with Squeez Bacon.” I must admit that I agree. After all, “Squeez Bacon® is fully cooked 100% bacon. Due to the patented electro-mechanical process by which Squeez Bacon® is rendered, it requires no preservatives or other additives. Each serving is as healthy as real bacon, and equivalent to 4 premium slices of bacon!” I simply can’t argue with that.

Put it on toast and eggs! Sushi! Canteloupe! Hash browns! Pizza! Heck, put it on your BACON!

At $7.99 per tube, Squeez Bacon is a steal! Here’s your homework, procrastinators: Get some Squeez Bacon. Put it on a random food. Take a picture. Post a link to your picture as a comment on this post. Happy eating!

Procrastinators looking for a more efficient mode of transportation in these trying economic times may find themselves drawn to Vespa mopeds, ultra-compact Kia Soul cars, good old-fashioned Schwinn bicycles, or even Segway electric transportation. Allow me to make another suggestion. At least two different companies now offer three-wheeled vehicles that bridge the gap between motorcycles and larger, more stable automobiles.

First, have a look at the Scoot Coupe. According to the website, it’s “sleek, elegant, smart, and just plain fantastic.” It apparently travels 70 to 80 miles on a gallon of gas, and is “everything you need to turn heads.” Check it out:

Oh, yeah. That'll turn heads.

On second thought, I’d call this vehicle “everything you need to look like you stole a vehicle from the carnival” or “everything you need to look like a toolbag while you drive near the beach.” Wow. Does anyone need to get 80 miles to the gallon this badly?

Conversely, check out the Can-Am Spyder. This vehicle is produced by a company that got its start making snowmobiles, and it shows in the design. It’s available with either automatic or standard transmission, and like the Scoot Coupe, it seats two. The similarities end there, though.

Everything you need to be a raging badass.

Yes, the Spyder costs as much as a small car. No, it doesn’t get 70 mpg on the highway. On the bright side, though, it can actually travel at highway speeds. Also, it won’t cause members of the opposite sex to view you as some sort of sensible, green-minded, responsible, boring, predictable dork.

Have I lost sight of the original intent of this post, namely, more affordable transportation? I have. Does it even matter, now that you’ve seen the Can-Am Spyder? I think not.

Getting information is too much work. There’s no need to browse around to multiple web sites and reload CNN.com every few minutes to get the latest and greatest anymore. Let me show you how to let information come to you, so you can spend more time relaxing, reading and most importantly, procrastinate more.

RSS - (Real Simple Syndication). On most sites these days, you’ll see this image:

RSS Link

This means that you can subscribe to the information the site publishes and pull it into an “RSS Reader”. An RSS reader can be Bloglines.com (my fav), Google Reader or any of hundreds of different software readers out there you can install on your computer or phone. By just using any of the above, you’ve just saved yourself a ton of time by not having to check, or bookmark any of the individual sites that you used to visit. 

Twitter – For real time news, sign up for Twitter. Then follow the people / items you want. Be it Oprah (who for some reason is tweeting to Ashton right now) or CNN. If there’s a topic you’re interested in following in detail, simply go to Twitter Search and search for it and add it to your RSS feed from above. Twitter search also allows you to see in real time what people are talking about on their home page. Besides having Twitter on your phone as an application, you can set Twitter to SMS/Text you Tweets you want in real-time, or you can get yourself a Twitter desktop client.

For Windows users, I recommend Digsby, which also allows you to set up IM accounts for Yahoo, Facebook, MSN, AOL, etc so you don’t have to have multiple IM clients installed.

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That’s all you need. By using these tools available right now, you’ll save time and be more informed when it happens, without having to refresh your browser even once.