The Daily Procrastinator

Readers, you will laugh at this: I just got my first video game system. Ever. How I find myself hanging with the crowd on this blog is a mystery to me. Nevertheless, I am the proud new owner of a Wii, and perhaps even more exciting, a Wii Fit.

Where are the sweaty users, collapsed in a heap on the floor?

The Wii Fit package features four happy people doing exercises. They’re dressed in white, smiling and generally having a good time. And I’ll admit, the first time I tried the Wii Fit at a relative’s house, I felt the same way. I had loads of fun as I stood there in my street clothes and bare feet, going through the motions without breaking a sweat.

And then I got one for my birthday.

Now, let’s set the stage for this. I work out between four and six days each week, depending on my schedule. I used to own a Pilates and yoga studio. My blood pressure is low, my cholesterol rocks, my BMI is awesome. I’ve done two half marathons in the last two years. I am the sort of person who takes their exercising seriously. Today, I tried the system out at home for the first time, wearing workout clothes and really doing the exercises.

The Wii Fit kicked my ass.

There’s no other way to explain it. I went through the poses one by one, Yoga section first. Breathing? Check. Half Moon? Check. Warrior? Bring it on. But then I got to the Strength exercises. Holy Christmas! The Push-Up and Plank? Brutal! Jackknife, done in pace with the whistle? Stunningly hard.

It wasn’t long before I was huffing and puffing and breaking a sweat. And don’t let the “fun stuff” fool you. The Aerobics and Balance Games may look easy, but it doesn’t take long before you’re pretty much wiped out. As I turned off the console and collapsed on the couch, I couldn’t believe how much of a workout I’d gotten from a video game. And I can’t wait until tomorrow to try again and hopefully beat my scores from today.

Even the most skilled veteran procrastinator can occasionally sit down at a keyboard with the intent to waste an hour or two and realize that he or she doesn’t really have a plan. Uncool! In order to make sure that you never, ever run out of ways to waste your valuable time, check out the links below. They’re some of my favorite procrastination locations.

My brute: Fear me!

My Brute
At this nifty website, you create a tiny warrior who ventures into the arena and wages mighty battle on your behalf. As your brute fights, he or she grows in strength, speed, and agility. It’s animated gladiatorial mayhem!

The Impossible Quiz
This might be the most addictive thing on the internet. It’s got over 100 puzzling, amusing, and sometimes just plain ridiculous questions to keep you guessing. I’ve never finished it, but I’ve reached questions in the 80s!

The Flight Of The Hamsters
Why is this so much fun? The name is pretty self-explanatory, I’d say.

Fail Blog
I’m pleased when the people around me experience success and victory, but I’m amused when they fail horribly.

Viking Kittens
Finally, someone has found a way to combine the power and majesty of Led Zeppelin with the cuddliness of kittens!

Now, go forth and procrastinate.

Take note, procrastinators. I’m about to do something I’ve never done before. I’m going to write a review for a board game. Although online game reviewers generally focus on video games, I just can’t resist the urge to spread the word about Last Night On Earth: The Zombie Game.

“What manner of game is this?” you may ask. The game gurus at boardgamegeek.com sum it up as follows:

Last Night on Earth, The Zombie Game is a survival horror board game that pits small-town Heroes head-to-head against a limitless horde of Zombies (players can play on the Hero team or as the Zombies). A modular board randomly determines the layout of the town at the start of each game and there are several different scenarios to play, adding lots of replayability. Fast Paced Game Play with Easy To Learn rules allows players to jump right into the action, while Strategic Depth and Strong Cooperative Play keeps the game interesting. To achieve a horror movie feel, all of the art for the game is photographic and the game comes with a CD Soundtrack of original music.

Basically, LNOE requires at least two players (although it can accommodate as many as six with ease). Some of the players control the aforementioned small-town heroes, while others control the shambling hordes of undead. In each scenario, the heroes have a goal; achieving this goal means that the heroes win. Conversely, the zombies also have a goal, which generally involves thwarting the heroes and/or eating their brains.

The genius of this game is in the design. The board is modular, and the pieces are chosen at random before the beginning of each game. The center piece of the board is square, and it has an empty town square on one side. The other side features an area called The Manor. One of these two sides is the center of the board for every game. Around the edges, players place four randomly selected L-shaped pieces which surround the center and create a much larger square.

In this set-up, the center square is The Manor. The L-shaped pieces around The Manor define the rest of the playing field. There are literally dozens of possible set-ups.

The depth of the game continues as the Hero players select their heroes. The game includes eight heroes, each of whom has individual abilities and powers. The players draw four heroes at random before the game begins, and this is the group that must attempt to defeat the zombie menace. Finally, gameplay is varied because of the Scenario Cards. The game contains a number of scenarios from which the players choose before the game begins. These scenarios set the goal that the heroes must achieve to win the game, how the zombies can thwart them, and how many turns are allowed for the heroes to achieve their goal before the sun goes down and the zombies win by default. With the changeable board, randomly selected heroes, and multiple scenarios, I’m sure that one could play LNOE for months without repeating a game.

Another cool feature of this game is the detailed miniatures. Each hero character (all of whom fit the stereotypical zombie-movie roles: the drifter, the high school quarterback, the girlfriend, the sheriff, etc.) has a matching miniature. Check ‘em out:

Behold: The Heroes!

Likewise, the zombie miniatures are cool and creepy. See?

Urrrrrrgh. Mmmmmmph. Grrrrrrrrmmmmm.

Besides looking cool, the game plays very smoothly. Each turn consists of several steps, and laminated cards are included to remind the players the order in which they should do business. Hero Cards and Zombie Cards that are drawn by the appropriate players can alter the game for one turn or for the remainder of the game. The rulebook makes things sound a bit complicated, but after playing the game for a few turns, it all becomes clear.

Although I haven’t played them, I understand that the manufacturers of Last Night On Earth have created several expansion packs for the game, which contribute additional modular gameboard pieces, additional heroes, additional scenarios, and additional undead mayhem.

Thus far, I’ve played three games of LNOE (I don’t own it personally, but I plan to buy it soon), and I’ve had a blast each time. I prefer to play the zombies, but I’m sure the heroes are fun, too. They certainly have all the cool toys. The $45-$50 cost of the game may seem prohibitive, but the many hours of gameplay that I will get out of LNOE are well worth it, especially since it still costs less than the average XBOX360 game. For any group of friends who enjoy getting together for some drinks, some laughs, and a night of shouting things like “Urrrrgh!” or “Yes! Death by shotgun!” or “Avoid the truck! There’s a zombie in there!”, Last Night On Earth would be a fantastic purchase. I know I’m going to buy it soon.