The Daily Procrastinator

Coming soon to your living room?

I remember my first 3-D movie: it was Jaws 3-D, and the memory of that 35 foot long (no shit) great white shark exploding and half of its jaw bone floating right before my eyes is something I still recall fairly vividly today.

Meh. The shark still looks fake

But that’s probably because I was 10 years old at the time. The novelty of wearing those cardboard glasses and seeing the images pop out at me made that abomination of a movie different, but definitely not better. Memories of watching non-3-D movies like Star Wars and Raiders of the Lost Ark are just as vivid in my mind.

Flash forward, oh, 20+ years later and the 3-D movie experience hasn’t changed all that much: we’re still expected to wear the glasses (now plastic and at a surcharge) and, perhaps beyond a few scenes, the 3-D experience doesn’t add a heck of a lot to the Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinosaurs movie watching experience.

Unless maybe you’re 10.

Which is why all this talk of 3-D television baffles me. Apparently Sony and Panasonic think the next big thing is television sets that will allow us the experience of 3-D right in our living rooms. But who on earth wants that? 3-D movies work (occasionally) for kid movies and as a gimmick for tired sequels (i.e., Jaws 3-D; Friday the 13th, 3-D; Final Destination 3-D), but beyond that, no one except the money-grubbing studios are clamoring for these films to be made.

Let’s look at the reasons this idea is bound for failure:

1) Size of the screen: 3-D movies work because everything is so huge. Yes, televisions are larger today, and getting larger, yet most homes will have a limit to both budget and space available. Small images floating in front of a small screen just won’t make as much of an impression.

2) 3-D is a social experience: When objects jump out at audiences in 3-D movies, the creators want a reaction out of the audience. We attempt to move out of the way when an object is thrown “at us” – and we shriek and laugh along with the rest of the audience after it happens. At home, there’s generally not going to be a large viewing audience, so that interaction is lost.

3) High Definition. HD TV is a phenomenal upgrade from standard definition, the pictures are gorgeous, and it’s practically brand new. When we upgraded to a 1080p TV, my wife and I sat stunned by the picture quality our Blu-Ray movies provided, and commented that they practically looked three dimensional. And this was without a set of those damned glasses! Speaking of which…

4) Those damned glasses. What guy wants to sit down to watch Monday Night Football wearing a pair of ill-fitting glasses? Who will watch CSI: Miami which will have only two truly 3-D moments in the entire show (one being when Caruso’s shades come flying toward you in the first two minutes)? We have 3-D televised events already (Superbowl commercials/half-times; Disney channel movies), and these are met largely with skepticism if not completely disregarded. And, hell, I have a hard enough time finding my remote – how am I going to keep up with a pair of cheap plastic glasses?

I suppose I could be wrong, but 3-D television, in my eyes, has “failed experiment” written all over it. It’s not 10 year olds buying the TVs, and, unless the technology makes giant leaps over the next year or so, 3-D television will be the next “Beta” of the entertainment industry.

Now, all bets are off if the porn industry gets involved…

Readers, you will laugh at this: I just got my first video game system. Ever. How I find myself hanging with the crowd on this blog is a mystery to me. Nevertheless, I am the proud new owner of a Wii, and perhaps even more exciting, a Wii Fit.

Where are the sweaty users, collapsed in a heap on the floor?

The Wii Fit package features four happy people doing exercises. They’re dressed in white, smiling and generally having a good time. And I’ll admit, the first time I tried the Wii Fit at a relative’s house, I felt the same way. I had loads of fun as I stood there in my street clothes and bare feet, going through the motions without breaking a sweat.

And then I got one for my birthday.

Now, let’s set the stage for this. I work out between four and six days each week, depending on my schedule. I used to own a Pilates and yoga studio. My blood pressure is low, my cholesterol rocks, my BMI is awesome. I’ve done two half marathons in the last two years. I am the sort of person who takes their exercising seriously. Today, I tried the system out at home for the first time, wearing workout clothes and really doing the exercises.

The Wii Fit kicked my ass.

There’s no other way to explain it. I went through the poses one by one, Yoga section first. Breathing? Check. Half Moon? Check. Warrior? Bring it on. But then I got to the Strength exercises. Holy Christmas! The Push-Up and Plank? Brutal! Jackknife, done in pace with the whistle? Stunningly hard.

It wasn’t long before I was huffing and puffing and breaking a sweat. And don’t let the “fun stuff” fool you. The Aerobics and Balance Games may look easy, but it doesn’t take long before you’re pretty much wiped out. As I turned off the console and collapsed on the couch, I couldn’t believe how much of a workout I’d gotten from a video game. And I can’t wait until tomorrow to try again and hopefully beat my scores from today.

Dear Procrastinators,

The big E3 (Electronic Entertainment Expo) is going on this week. Microsoft, Sony & Nintendo all announced their new gaming technologies:

Sony: Wii-like controller

Nintendo: A new, more accurate, Wii controller

Microsoft: NO CONTROLLER NEEDED

Look ma, no hands!

It is obvious that Microsoft is the clear winner here.  Now you won’t even need to find (much less pick up) your controller to start playing.  You will just walk in front of your TV,  be recognized by the system  and start playing, Minority Report style.  You may even get some exercise from moving around as you make the on-screen character follow your moves.

But that will require work and effort, and therefore runs counter to everything this site believes in.

Fortunately, Procrastinators, I have a solution.   And it will be a reality in just a few years.

Researchers at Emotiv have figured out how to control objects on screen using brainwaves.  Imagine just thinking what your character should do and having it respond, all from the comfort of your couch with nary a need to lift a finger.   Shoot the bad guy?  Think it.  Pass the ball to T.O. in Madden? Think it. Exercise on your wii board? Think it.

This, my friends, is the future of gaming.

According to a Wall Street Journal article, “Microsoft Corp. is developing a new videocamera for the Xbox 360 console that will allow players to control games with the movement of their bodies.” It looks like the Nintendo company’s uber-popular gaming system, Wii, is about to have a little competition. According to the article, a camera is being developed that can sense motion in three dimensions, and this camera is made to be attached to the XBox 360. It will “watch” video game players’ movements and translate them into control of the game.

As an XBox 360 owner, I’m totally psyched about this. The camera, which is supposed to become available in 2010, could revolutionize game play. Imagine using not only your hands but your whole body to control your video game system. Also, unlike the currently available Wii controllers, this camera will free the player from having to hold any kind of controller. It’s completely hands-free.

As a thirty-something, this advancement in video game technology literally stuns me. My first video game system featured games and controllers like these:

I seriously LOVED this game.

The progression from Combat on the Atari 2600 to Assassin’s Creed on XBox 360 is almost unbelievable.

It's so beauuuuutiful.

I thought my copy of Assassin’s Creed was a bad-ass as video games could get. Wrong! Imagine playing this game with full-body control. My mind is boggled by the mere possibility.

I have a confession to make: I am afraid of the treadmill. 

You’re laughing. I can hear you. “It’s just like walking,” you say. “If you can walk, you can use a treadmill.” I am living proof that this is incorrect. God help me, I have never mastered this piece of equipment. No matter how hard I try, I can’t get the pace right, so I’m either scrambling like a hamster in a wheel that’s moving far too fast, or I’m slowly lumbering along, like I should be wearing a flannel shirt and have a blue ox trailing behind. And god help me when it’s time to slow the thing down and get off! I’m convinced that I’ll end up planted face-first on the ground.

I fear that I would be less graceful, ending up in a mangled heap on the floor.

I’ve never been a fan of the treadmill, but this fear has only increased with time. I have a vision of stepping at just the wrong angle and sailing off the back of this machine in front of everyone, like in some terrible Saturday Night Live sketch. This is how I’ve come to be particularly fond of the stationary bikes and the elliptical machine.

But none of these pieces of equipment will work with my beloved Nike+ sensor, which only registers the pounding gait of walking or running.  I started using this to train for my second half marathon in 2008, and I just love it.  I used it all the time back in the warmer, drier weather when outdoor workouts were possible.  Integration of my iPod music, miles and workout tracking is fantastic, plus you get this little voice telling you that you’ve had your best time or best distance ever.

But now that I’ve had a winter without it, I struggle with the idea of returning to it.  Will the little voice ask me where the heck I’ve been?  I want to tell her that I’ve been working out — no really, I swear! — but that my workouts haven’t been compatible with the little magical accelerometer in the sensor.  I want her validation and positive feedback for the 30 minutes that I spent on the elliptical this morning.  I want credit for the miles that I’ve gone this winter.  I just don’t want it quite enough to try the treadmill.

So when the winter rains finally give way to springtime sun, and I once again hit the streets with my Nike+, I hope that the little voice will be welcoming.  But I have this sneaking fear that she’ll calmly ask me where I’ve been and why the heck I couldn’t use the treadmill.

A Sonnet for Sirius/XM

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee for the info., sports and rock
My antenna can reach, when taking stock
Of the limits of AM/FM waves.
I love that no innane commercials play
And, by doing so, my stations stay locked.
I love thee, Faction, Octane, Sirius Pops,
I love thee, Liquid Metal, long live José!
In my travels, with my children in tow,
I love thee, Kids Place and the Disney Show.
I love thee, Road House, and Classic stations.
Long trips – who cares? I jam to Hair Nation.
With my connection – I now love to go
Sirius/XM: “Best Radio on Radio.”

In the world of digital audio, few names are as respected as Edirol. In December, I started recording with their latest field recorder, the R-09HR, and I can honestly say that I now understand the fantastic reputation that the Edirol family of products enjoys. This particular recorder is designed to be a small, portable recording option for events outside the recording studio. It’s about the size of a first-generation iPod, but slightly thicker. It can be used to record meetings, band practices, interviews, and even concerts. I use it primarily for the latter.

The Edirol R-09HR is a device which is designed to record MP3 and WAV files directly to digital media, in the form of SD cards. A 512 MB card is included with the recorder, but it can accept cards as large as 8 GB, which is what I use. The R-09HR can record files ranging from relatively low-quality 128 kbps MP3s to 16-bit 44.1 khz WAVs (CD-quality sound) to 24-bit 96 khz WAVS, which are the highest-quality sound files for which anybody could have any reasonable use. At 128 kbps MP3, the 8 GB card can hold 7980 minutes of data, while 24-bit 96 khz WAV allows the card to hold about 220 minutes. I use CD-quality options, which affords me 720 minutes.

The device features a line-in option for recording directly from a soundboard. It also has a microphone-in, for the use of a range of external microphones. Most impressively, though, it features on-board stereo condenser microphones. I was skeptical of the quality of these on-board microphones, since the price of high-quality external microphones can range from several hundred to several thousand dollars. Upon taping my first concert from the audience using the on-board microphones, I learned that the R-09HR makes outstanding recordings without the use of external mics. Certainly, one could improve the quality of the sound by adding a high-dollar microphone to the setup, but the on-board mics created a warm, clear, natural-sounding recording. My only complaint is that the on-board microphones are not directional, which means that they capture sounds from all around the recorder. In effect, if the recorder is close to loud or talkative fans, their voices can become an annoyance in the recording.

When recording from the soundboard, the R-09HR makes recordings as crisp, clear, and true-to-life as I’ve ever heard. I have recorded two concerts from the soundboard, and I couldn’t be more thrilled with the results. I gave a copy of one of these recordings to the musician, a friend of mine, and he intends to release it as a live album. It sounds that good. The clarity of the R-09HR’s recordings is partly due to its Isolated Adaptive Recording Circuit (IARC), which prevents any kind of digital clicks or pops from reaching the final product. The device also features no moving parts inside, so the hum and hiss which can be produced by analog recording equipment is totally avoided.

The R-09HR runs on two AA batteries, which will last through a surprising six or seven hours of recording. It has an adaptor for AC power, which is included. Also included is a cable for high-speed USB 2.0 connection to a computer, which makes data transfer quick and simple. A small external speaker allows the user to review recordings in the field, and a headphone jack allows even closer listening. In fact, the user can even load MP3s onto the R-09HR and use it for a portable music player. While the functionality of this feature is acceptable, the interface is somewhat awkward.

The only problem I’ve had with using this recorder is with the buttons which govern the input levels from the microphones. The device allows me to adjust the input levels while recording, in case the music is suddenly louder or softer, or in case I’m able to move closer to the speakers. I made use of this feature at one concert I recorded, but pressing the buttons caused loud, audible clicks in my recording. While listening, I realized that these clicks are actually the sounds of me pressing the buttons. Luckily, this situation is remedied by using the remote control which is included. When the input volume is adjusted with the remote control, no clicks are introduced into the final product.

Other features include toggles for limiter, automatic gain control, low/high mic gain, low cut, and plug-in power for external microphones that require it. All of these features were new to me as a relatively inexperienced concert recorder, but I quickly learned to use them to my advantage through the explanations offered in the instruction manual and various internet FAQs.

On the whole, I highly recommend the R-09HR to anyone who is in the market for a portable digital recorder. Priced between $300 and $400, depending on the retailer, it’s a bit more expensive than most other recorders, but the quality of the finished product and the ease with which it can be used makes the Edirol R-09HR well worth the cost.