The Daily Procrastinator

Getting information is too much work. There’s no need to browse around to multiple web sites and reload CNN.com every few minutes to get the latest and greatest anymore. Let me show you how to let information come to you, so you can spend more time relaxing, reading and most importantly, procrastinate more.

RSS - (Real Simple Syndication). On most sites these days, you’ll see this image:

RSS Link

This means that you can subscribe to the information the site publishes and pull it into an “RSS Reader”. An RSS reader can be Bloglines.com (my fav), Google Reader or any of hundreds of different software readers out there you can install on your computer or phone. By just using any of the above, you’ve just saved yourself a ton of time by not having to check, or bookmark any of the individual sites that you used to visit. 

Twitter – For real time news, sign up for Twitter. Then follow the people / items you want. Be it Oprah (who for some reason is tweeting to Ashton right now) or CNN. If there’s a topic you’re interested in following in detail, simply go to Twitter Search and search for it and add it to your RSS feed from above. Twitter search also allows you to see in real time what people are talking about on their home page. Besides having Twitter on your phone as an application, you can set Twitter to SMS/Text you Tweets you want in real-time, or you can get yourself a Twitter desktop client.

For Windows users, I recommend Digsby, which also allows you to set up IM accounts for Yahoo, Facebook, MSN, AOL, etc so you don’t have to have multiple IM clients installed.

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That’s all you need. By using these tools available right now, you’ll save time and be more informed when it happens, without having to refresh your browser even once. 

In a past life, I worked for a trade magazine that has been in continuous publication since 1869.  As with the rest of the publishing industry, the parent company of this magazine has been hit hard, and yesterday they decimated the ranks of experienced writers, sales reps and business staff, leaving only a skeleton crew.  There is no reasonable way that the remaining staffers can keep this magazine afloat, and I find myself wondering if this is just the last step before shutdown after their big trade show in June.

For perspective: Construction of the Brooklyn Bridge began in 1870, and wasn't completed until 1883. This tower of the bridge was constructed in 1875.

While it’s been years since I had anything to do with the magazine or even that industry, I can’t help but be filled with a terrible sadness for the demise of something that has been a stable presence for generations of skilled craftsmen in a very close-knit industry.  

I know that the world is moving on and getting its information in different ways, but to be on the verge of losing something that’s been in existence since Ulysses S. Grant was president saddens me in ways that I can’t even begin to explain.

I am in the unfortunate situation of having bought a new car. Unfortunate, you ask? Yes, because I’m getting 2-3 auto-calls per day from companies trying to sell me a worthless extended warranty. This is a known scam and not even being on the Do-not-call list stops them from calling.

Fortunately, there’s a solution for those of us with iPhones. The Blacklist application for $1.99 in the iTunes App Store.

Blacklist creates an iPhone contact named “Blacklisted Number” full of thousands of numbers (over 30,000 and growing) belonging to US telemarketers, scammers, and prank callers so that when one of these numbers calls, you know not to answer because it displays the caller as “Blacklisted Number”. 

Blacklist connects to callerdb.com’s extensive database of problem callers every time you sync. Since I installed it two days ago, I’ve avoided four calls. Installation and sync is painless if you’re on a high speed wifi connection.

With the minutes it saves you, Blacklist will pay for itself. If you’re getting telemarketing calls to your iPhone, you need this application. Why isn’t Vonage doing this?

Even the most skilled veteran procrastinator can occasionally sit down at a keyboard with the intent to waste an hour or two and realize that he or she doesn’t really have a plan. Uncool! In order to make sure that you never, ever run out of ways to waste your valuable time, check out the links below. They’re some of my favorite procrastination locations.

My brute: Fear me!

My Brute
At this nifty website, you create a tiny warrior who ventures into the arena and wages mighty battle on your behalf. As your brute fights, he or she grows in strength, speed, and agility. It’s animated gladiatorial mayhem!

The Impossible Quiz
This might be the most addictive thing on the internet. It’s got over 100 puzzling, amusing, and sometimes just plain ridiculous questions to keep you guessing. I’ve never finished it, but I’ve reached questions in the 80s!

The Flight Of The Hamsters
Why is this so much fun? The name is pretty self-explanatory, I’d say.

Fail Blog
I’m pleased when the people around me experience success and victory, but I’m amused when they fail horribly.

Viking Kittens
Finally, someone has found a way to combine the power and majesty of Led Zeppelin with the cuddliness of kittens!

Now, go forth and procrastinate.

ABC News reports that Nadya Suleman, AKA Octomom, has filed paperwork with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office (USPTO) to trademark the Octomom moniker. She plans to sell, “dresses, pants, shirts as well as cloth and disposable diapers.”

Considering the level of scorn that’s been heaped upon this woman since the birth of her octuplets, I find myself wondering who would purchase Octomom-branded merchandise.

I’ll leave the searing commentary to The Superficial.

Boys, I’ll let you in on a little secret: I love shoes.  I’ll also let you in on another little secret: there’s no better shoe than the one that’s on sale.

Yet today, I stumbled across this pair of black boots.  I love black boots.  But the fact that these are still $930 after the 55% discount… well, let’s just say that for that price, those little golden embellishments ought to be at least 18 karat gold, able to be removed and sold for scrap.

And to make them more ridiculous, they’re velvet!  If I’m going to pay close to $1,000 for a pair of boots, they’re going to have to be made from the softest buttery leather, handcrafted by a gnarled, skilled Italian shoemaker living alone in a workshop in the heart of Florence.  And possibly delivered in person by his handsome 20-something grandson.  A grandson who will speak adoringly in Italian, will cook me a spectacular bolognese sauce and will leave the recipe here when he flies back to his homeland.  

Nah, I still wouldn’t pay that much.  

As you’ve probably noticed, my fellow procrastinators, this is one of my favorite times of year. First, April brings the return of baseball. Second, and just as importantly, April signals the beginning of crawfish season. Soon, herds of Southerners will be gathered around boiling pots of crawfish with cold bottles of beer in hand, waiting to indulge in on of life’s finest culinary delicacies.

They look tasty, don't they?

If you’ve never eaten crawfish, I don’t really know how to explain it without sounding somewhat barbaric and violent. Basically, once they’re boiled with some good, hot spices, you bust them in half, suck the juices out of the front half, discard it, then crack open the tail end and eat the delicious morsel of meat you find inside. If you’ve got particularly big crawfish, you can sometimes get little bits of meat out of the claws, too. It’s a lot of work for for a few small niblets of seafood, but it’s worth every moment.

Of course, crawfish are just the main course. The average pot of crawfish also contains new potatoes, half-ears of corn, and chunks of sausage. Some enterprising cooks toss in mushrooms, as well. Taken together, it’s a meal fit for a king…a messy, hungry king.

Next weekend, the Texas Crawfish and Music Festival will be held in Spring, TX. One of my favorite musicians, Bob Schneider, is set to close the main stage on Friday night. Picture the scene: live music on multiple stages, crawfish sold by the pound at little stands everywhere you turn, frosty beverages enjoyed en masse. It’s safe to say that I’m more than a little excited. If you happen to be near Spring, Texas next weekend, drop by the festival. I’ll buy you a meal you won’t soon forget.

Because sometimes we all feel like we’re one egg short of a dozen….

Late afternoon sun makes the most of the Paas dye.

With the announcement of the death of Harry Kalas, I feel like another part of my childhood is gone.  For those of you who didn’t grow up in Philadelphia, Harry was the voice of the Phillies, the sound that I most deeply associate with summer in my baseball family.  From the AM-only radio in my grandmother’s 1978 Ford Granada, to the transistor radio that my mother listened to while doing laundry and ironing in the basement, Harry’s voice was everywhere.

Having said goodbye to my mother and grandmother — both avid fans — and the giant concrete donut that was Veterans Stadium five years ago, it’s almost as if Harry’s death severs my last tie to the most pervasive part of my childhood summers.  I’m left feeling a little bit older, a little bit sadder and a little bit more nostalgic for the past.

Goodbye, Harry.  If there’s a heaven, may it be filled with real grass, blue skies and great weather for a ballgame.

For those of you who prefer to procrastinate via your iPhones, load up The Daily Procrastinator URL there and you’ll get a shiny iPhone specific user interface.