The Daily Procrastinator

In 15 years of browsing the internet, I’ve seen every kind of bizarre, amazing, and/or appetizing web content. In fact, some days, I think there’s nothing left out there that could really make me stop and shake my head. On those days, I am wrong.

As proof of the internet’s inexhaustible supply of cool new discoveries, check out the following product, which was recently pointed out to me by a friend.

According to the product's website, "a few years after WWII ended, a young man working in a small restaurant in Sweden developed a new way to process bacon. By precooking it and blending it in a special way, he was able to make a fully cooked 100% bacon paste that could be squeezed from a tube."

When I first saw this product, I thought I was horrified and nauseated. On second thought, though, I’m pretty sure I’m thrilled and hungry. Frankly, Squeez Bacon sounds like a great idea. Nearly everything is better with bacon. For example, imagine a hamburger. Now, imagine the hamburger with bacon on it. Better, right? Now repeat the process with a slice of pizza. Now try it with a baked potato. See the pattern?

Bacon = better.

The website says, “If it’s edible, it’s better with Squeez Bacon.” I must admit that I agree. After all, “Squeez Bacon® is fully cooked 100% bacon. Due to the patented electro-mechanical process by which Squeez Bacon® is rendered, it requires no preservatives or other additives. Each serving is as healthy as real bacon, and equivalent to 4 premium slices of bacon!” I simply can’t argue with that.

Put it on toast and eggs! Sushi! Canteloupe! Hash browns! Pizza! Heck, put it on your BACON!

At $7.99 per tube, Squeez Bacon is a steal! Here’s your homework, procrastinators: Get some Squeez Bacon. Put it on a random food. Take a picture. Post a link to your picture as a comment on this post. Happy eating!